ARMA Combined Operations -- Online Gaming and Flight Simulators.

I have always been into computer games.  Even before the days of the internet and home computer software, I had been playing video games since I was about 13 years old.  Perhaps I would have started even earlier had the technology been there, but now my three-and-a-half-year-old daughter can open a browser, log on to pbskids.org and navigate to any of the children's program sites and play games on all of them.

Don "Aviator" Welch, Virtual Fighter Pilot

Most of you know by now that I am Active Duty, Military Retired from the US Air Force.  Although I wasn't a special operator or combat pilot, I worked closely with these individuals in a training capacity and I continued to work with them as a civilian after my service was completed.  I now consider myself a military/historical enthusiast, and although the military get's bad press sometimes in the eyes of the general public, I think our men and women in uniform make great personal sacrifices for the rest of us to maintain our way of life.  Not only do I say this because of my own experience in the Air Force, but because everyday I see how many of us take our freedom and way of living for granted.

Online Friends from Canada and the US (Eagle Scout, Hell Gog, Brockert, and Hippo)

When you deploy with US Forces for 20 years, and you work on over 14 different aircraft weapon systems, you gain an appreciation for the mission.  For me, online gaming allowed me to relive that mission while forming camaraderie with people from around the world.  That's what I like about ARMA II, Combined Operations.  In this simulation, you can be a pilot, a tank commander, a sniper, a special forces team leader, or just about anything you want to be.  In fact, one of my online friends and I enjoy the logistics side of the game where we build equipment bases and deploy convoys to forward operating locations.  It is no wonder that ARMA, or Armed Assault, was developed in the civilian market and was based off of the military training simulation used by the US Army to train its troops on the big picture of theater warfare and logistics.

Rasman Airfield, Takistan -- A foward operating location we developed to launch air operations in the North.

 ARMA is the most recent game I've played on a regular basis--others included many variations of the Microsoft Flight Simulator series simulations as well as those ranging from Intelevision console games of the late 1970s to Commodore 64 PC games in the 1980s, to Tank and Aircraft simulators in the 1990s and even to today's highly interactive game environment using large capacity servers and voice over the internet protocol (VOIP) communications.  Some of my friends even have devices such as Track IR, something that integrates a virtual head movement tracking device to allow you to turn and look within your environment and transfers the images to your mulit-monitor gaming system.

Game Start Up Screen for Jane's USAF

One of my favorite things about the evolution of combat simulations is the ability to customize your interaction with the software.  I started doing this with the Electronic Arts (JANE'S Combat Series) USAF and F/A-18E fighter games.  I was able to insert my data and photos into the files needed to show my information online to others during the game.  This was considered advanced as many of the people playing these simulations could barely keep up with updates and patches needed to keep their software current.

Jane's USAF - My Pilot Record as Don "JUICE" Welch

As you can see, I mainly focused on being a pilot.  But back in the late 1990's, my online friends in the Jane's Combat Simulations world got me to migrate to Ghost Recon by Red Storm Entertainment.  Many of these combat simulations replicated real world past and present conflicts involving US and NATO forces in a myriad of environments from arctic to jungle to the desert.  I wasn't interested at first, but I soon found the teamwork and communication aspects of this type of gaming to be realistic in comparison to my actual military experience.  I specifically remember telling my friends that we would soon be playing video games with multiple combat aspects of gameplay such as ground troop, tank, aircraft, ship, etc, all integrated into one game.  Then, soon, the game makers came out with simulations such as Battlefield 1942 and Modern Warfare.  Although not totally integrated for full in-vehicle realism, these games allowed players to be pilots, ground forces, tank commanders and more from the same personal computer platform with their buddies around the world.  But this would be only the beginning of what ARMA would become, and we wouldn't get there for a little while longer.

Lock-On, Modern Air Combat Startup Splash Screen

F-15C Afterburner Takeoff into the Sunset on Lock-On

About the time I was considering taking my first break from Online Gaming, my Ghost Recon buddies were migrating over to Lock-On, Modern Air Combat.  I entered a hiatus from gaming for about five years from 2004 until 2009.  During this time, I completed a Bachelor's Degree in Aeronautics and a Private Pilot Certificate, not to mention deploying to Saudi Arabia for three months and eventually completing a 20-year career in the "Force."  But, for the small sum of $1, I bought Lock-On on eBay and played alone (not online) for a few months.  By the time I got the simulation, almost everyone had moved on to Falcon 4.0, one of the most realistic F-16 simulations ever.  I worked on F-16s in Korea in 1992-1993, and this game can actually train you to start the engines and operate the F-16 Viper.  I did find a group of enthusiast in Europe that had moved to Lock-On, Flaming Cliffs, but I didn't feel the cost of the additional software was worth it.  So through the encouragement of a friend, I got into Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 2.

Screenshot from Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 2

 My buddy, Jesse Milich asked me if I'd like to help him finish some challenges on Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 2, and I was looking at something to reconnect me with online gaming.  Jesse was a Marine who served about 6 years in the late 1990s and early 2000s.  They say, "Once a Marine, Always a Marine!"  For Jesse and I, Modern Warfare projected us into our respective roles with him as a ground pounding jarhead and me as an airborne airman over the battlefield.  We of course swapped positions all the time to see if we could beat the average times set by other gamers and the software developers.  But soon, Jesse and I moved to Battlefield, Bad Company 2, and the game interaction and multiplatform options took us to a new level and we never went back to Modern Warfare.

Battlefield, Bad Company 2 Score Card

Battlefield, Bad Company 2 was a huge leap forward for me.  For the first time, I was able to game with players all over the planet in aircraft, tanks, and jeeps as well as ground forces.  And we had the added benefit of a rank system with rewards and weapons unlocks.  Jesse was busy with work, but I quickly accelerated to unlock all the weapons and reached level 50 in about seven months time.  Almost all of the games had stand-alone campaign games you could do offline and Modern Warfare 2 even had offline 2-player cooperative games, but Bad Company 2 had a decent singleplayer mode as well as an excellent multiplayer theme.  I basically developed a new set of friends through this game and we eventually joined a clan (online military unit) and moved to ARMA II Combined Operations while using TeamSpeak as our communications platform.

ATACAMA Desert Map - Conquest Mode

The the neat thing about Battlefield, Bad Company 2 online gameplay was that it offered multiple styles of gaming from Conquest to Rush modes and many updated theaters of operation.  Unfortunately, like Modern Warfare 2, the games were only offered through designated public servers and players had no control in adapting missions or hosting custom games on private servers.  If you wanted to host a game, you had to purchase space for a dedicated server to run your own clan game.  But enter the world of ARMA!

ARMA Combine Ops Screenshot - USS Kae Sanh at night.

ARMA brings back all the custom abilities of old-style, online gaming as far as modification of missions and equipment, to hosting your own online games either on a server or from your capable home computer.  I often hosted ARMA games for up to 8 players with friends, passworded games only.  Some of best times of my adult life have been doing virtual special operations with my online buddies.  The graphic environment and gameplay is so real, even surreal, that you sometimes forget that it's just a game.  But even this level of involvement, and the hundreds of hours spent on gaming, can be considered an addiction.  I do know that online gaming feeds my ADD needs and helps me get my multiple input needs while also allowing me to relax and focus on a narrow task at the same time.  I liken the focus during gaming to that of yoga or meditation, especially when I am only doing touch-and-go landings in an F-16 fighter.  But still, it can be very addicting.

F-16C Afterburner Takeoff at Sunset - Rasman Airfield, Takistan.

F-16C Taxi at Rasman.

Splash 1 - F-16C shooting down an L-39 Albatross.

As I mentioned before, Falcon 4.0 was probably the most realistic flight sim for the F-16 that I've ever played, but others have had better landing and flight characteristics and not any single game has had all the realistic aspects plugged into one...but ARMA comes close.  It will be interesting to see what ARMA III offers next year in the essence of advancement.  At this point, it's hard to improve upon gameplay unless you get a full-motion, panographic flight simulator like the professional airlines use.  I've flown in those commercial and military simulators where you have pollution and 270-degree field of vision, but nothing compares to the real thing.  I have almost 300 hours in real airplanes, but I will never be able to fly and shoot down a bandit or blow up a terrorist vehicle in real life.  Not unless they develop Somalia Pirate intervention forces, I am destine to be a virtual pilot, second to being a husband and father to my family.  They will always come first!

That's all for now, keep in touch and email me (See my Blog header for my email address) to provide feedback on my blog.  If you haven't already, sign up to follow as I'll be continuing "1 Year in the Forest" beyond 2011 as I find something else to give up for a year in order to make life better.

Cheers,

Don "Aviator" or "Juice" Welch

                         Video: Fallujah Emergency Landing UH-60 Helo

Attached are more photos from ARMA Combined Operations:

Takistan Map Startup Splash Screenshot

2nd Recon Group Startup Splash Screenshot

USS Kae Sanh Daytime Ops - Chenarus Map

35th Fighter Sqadron Jet (my unit in Korea in 1992) Parked at Rasman Airfield, Takistan

F-15E, a Custom Screenshot by an ARMA player on the internet.

Over the hump - Past the Half-Way Point!

July 1st came and went.  It was a Friday, Payday, and I remember that it was very, very warm for our area.  The summer weather has been late in coming to Portland, Oregon, and I'm not complaining.  The days that reach 80 degrees Fahrenheit are nice, but the days at 72 are even nicer.

One of the things I hadn't thought to much about when I decided last year to enter in this an annual quest of giving up alcohol for one year was all the holidays and celebrations, often toasted with a cheer.  Whatever the occasion or depending on the drink (Beer, Wine, Margarita or Liquor-Spiced Cider) I would look forward to the social event as an opportunity to enjoy a good drink.  Saint Patrick's Day, Father's Day, Anniversary, Birthday, and Fourth of July have all passed, and we really didn't do anything special for those days as most of our friends were off celebrating, many with alcohol.  I don't mind missing this year's parties, the chance to benefit and learn from my experience is far more rewarding then enjoying a drink of alcohol.  And the time away from drinking has allowed me to reconsider my relationships with alcohol, and the friends that come with it.

I don't see my regular drinking buddies on Friday afternoon at Bridgeport, not to mention the many staff-members I became friends with over the years.  McMenamin's Edgefield is still a big part of my life, but it's coffee, breakfast, reading and writing for me there.  One of my favorite birthday destinations is Full Sail Ales in Hood River, Oregon.  Of course I'd have an elk-burger with fries and needless to say, Kandy could smell the grease and garlic coming out of my pores that night and a day later.  That's one of the things we don't notice as much as the foods kinda came with the drinks.  Instead, the Non-Alcoholic beers and wines are infrequent, but more often we are drinking fresh juice made from or Brevelle Juicer.

Last night, we saw a good documentary on Netflix called, "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" about a guy from Australia who decided he'd had enough with being sick and fat, and he set off on a 60-day fast with nothing but water and fresh juices from fruits and vegetables.  He came to the United States for this test because of all the fast foods and noticeably overweight people in our nation.  I'd have to say, this was one of the best health related documentaries, liken to "Super-Size Me" with Morgan Spurlock, but I found this recent film very motivating with an excellent positive feel to it.  This film starts my recommendation list that will soon become a regular part of my blog along with books as well.

Speaking of reading, I've already mentioned "The Gift of Adult ADD" by Lara Honos-Webb, PH.D.  Along with the essence of relationship and self-help, I'd also like to recommend "Getting The Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix, PH. D. (no Relationship to the other PH.D.) as good reading for anyone trying to understand the science and evolution behind partner relationships.  I can't attest to it improving your relationship with your partner, but it will surely explain why we feel certain ways and where the unsatisfied or unmet needs of one or both members in the relationship.

On a business side, I found "Success on the Step" the story of Kenmore Air very enjoyable and I'm now reading "Remember the Magic" the story of Horizon Air.  I enjoy these accounts of aviation business entrepreneurs and their challenges and successes endured over the course of setting up their businesses.  On my nightstand are two other books in waiting; "The Sustainability Revolution" and "Trekking Patagonia, A Hiking Guide."  Kandy and I were planning to go to Patagonia the year Makenna was born, and although we had to delay our trip, I'm sure we'll put it back on the schedule for too long.

Finally, I did something last week that I'd not done in quite a few years.  With the role of stay-at-home dad and homemaker--not to mention breaking my leg and being mobility-challenged for almost a year--I hadn't really gotten out to the wilderness with any real quality time with nature since our Wonderland Trail hike in 2006.  On Tuesday, July 5th, I drove to Olympic National Park to discover all the high places in the park were still covered with six to eight feet of snow.  The weather was nice with freezing levels slated for around 6,000 feet, but since I'd never been to this area before, I was unsure of what to do for a four-day wilderness experience.  But studying the park map for a short while, I found a solution that would work out perfect.

The Hoh Rainforest lies on the West side of Olympic National Park.  Continuing my drive westward on Highway 101, I drove around to the river road entrance and hiked three miles to Mt. Tom Creek camp for my first night.  There I met, Jay and his wife Ursala along with their five year old son, Max.  We had the entire area to ourselves and enjoyed a blissful setting of swift-running creek water and about an hour before sunset, a huge herd of about 60 elk crossed the river west of us and hung out on the north bank of the river about 100 yards from our campsites.  I was able to sneak down through the willows and low washouts to a point about 20 yards from the herd where I snapped a few photos before one elk spooked off, taking the rest with them.  This was the first time I'd seen so many young calves and head so many cow calls for the little ones.

The next morning, after stepping on my camera case and cracking my LCD, I packed up and heading eight miles up to Lewis Meadows Camp at just under 11 miles on the trail.  This trail goes for about 16 miles inland before climbing up to the Blue Glacier and the summit of Mount Olympus.  I passed many hikers along the route to my next camp and one hiker told me to press through Lewis Meadows to the river bar on the other side where I would find great beach camps with fire rings and lots of logs for firewood and exploring.  But when I got to the river's edge, I found only two forested campsites and decided to explore downstream where I found a secluded campsite with good water but not too noisy with the sound of rushing water.  By virtue of having the entire area to myself, it became the best nudist colony I'd ever created.  The temperatures were warm for this area and the sun felt great.  I had to be careful to not stay in the sun too long, especial the white private parts that rarely see the light of day outside the home.

WARNING, The Following Photos May Contain Images Unsuitable for Couch Potatoes.

Never-the-less, I explored the river, found the original campsites upstream of me, and filtered drinking water, all in the nude.  This was refreshing as sun-bathing is great for hiking trips where showering isn't available, and plunging into glacial snow melt waters is very uncomfortable.  I used a bandana to rinse, wring, and bathe my body on the shore of the Hoh river, and it was good.

That night, low fog moved into the valley and it was very dark with no stars or moon light in the forest, although it was very quiet all night long.  I enjoyed this area, but felt lonely for conversation, so the next morning I headed back down trail to Five-Mile Island Camp where my new friends from Maine were going to be camping.  On the way, I stopped at the Olympus Ranger Station and had lunch and rested my pack legs and back.

I saw lots of wildlife on the trip, but no bears.  On my last day, while hiking the five miles out on this somewhat easy trail, I observed three cow-elk just a few yards off the trail.  The seemed to not care that I was passing more then 20 feet from them as they kept eating as I walked by after snapping a few photos.

Just after this spot, I came across two separate Ptarmigan hens with a brood of chicks under their wings.  The hen was "buckl, buck bucking" like a chicken and the chicks were "cheep, cheep, cheeping" like little ones, so I decided to join in on the conversations.  First I "bucked" up to mother hen to see how her day was going, and she was obviously frustrated from chick rearing as she got upset as soon as I imitated the chicks.  I started "cheeping" with my whistle lips and the hen immediately fanned out her tail, spread her wings to look bigger and she started hissing at me like a cat.  I noticed if I stopped, she stopped and moved on, but when I started "Cheeping" again, she started again, but this time, she fluttered airborne and flew just pass my head as a warning to stop eating her babies.  I hope I didn't break any wildlife laws, but it was neat interacted with nature on such a personal level.

This entire trip was refreshing, something I'd almost forgotten was part of my rebooting process, I'd done on a regular basis before full-time parenthood took priority.  As my little one gets bigger, and my relationship with my spouse mends, I plan to enjoy the wilderness experience again, as early as this fall.  We're planning a trip to Mount Rainier National Park where we plan to camp for three nights at Sunrise Camp, about a mile from the parking lot.  From there, we will take long day-trips into the higher country for huckleberries and alpine vistas as well as the occasional wildlife sighting.  But that's all for now.

Keep on trekking,

Don

Approaching the Half-Way Point!

Greetings everyone, it's late June and summer is here.  Although it doesn't feel like it sometimes around where I live, I see in the news that much of the US is in a heatwave.  My summer weather in the Pacific-Northwest is just fine with me; cool mornings, low clouds burning off by noon, and warm (effective) sunshine washing on my arms and face.  I love where I live.

My big news for this post is that I've sort-of-kinda started drinking again...but it's not what you think.  Last weekend, Kandy, Makenna, and I went out for Father's Day and we stopped at Zupan's Market to get some ingredients for Kandy's wonderful homemade, stone-cooked pizza at home.  She always makes the best food and is truly a gourmet when it comes to trying new things.  And thinking of new things, I decided to look for some swaggering alternatives to beer and wine, as I used to enjoy them with Kandy's excellent pizza...yum!

So, while at Zupan's, I inquired with the wine guy about non-alcoholic wines and he was very helpful in pointing out that they only had two, a white and a sparkling white.  Now one would have to have Kandy's pizza over the past 15 years to understand that almost any red varietal wine perfectly pares with her first-class, exquisitely prepared perfection of roundness and taste.  Not to mention that I'm a huge , full-bodied, bold red lover, and a huge fan of Kandy's pizza.

Thanks to Zupan's, and the makers of Guinness beer, we purchased a six-pack of Kaliber, a non-alcoholic beer with full body and unique taste.  Kandy said it was kind of like drinking a soda.  The idea of non-alcoholic (N/A) beer and wine hit me like a light-bulb moment from out of the blue.  Then I thought, why didn't i think of that before.  Perhaps it might have been because O'doul's and all the other available N/A beers really sucked, not to mention that it took a ton of it to get you buzzed--just kidding!

Once the N/A beer option sunk in my sober mind, I started asking, "hey, what about top rated, N/A wines?"  Let's take a look at what Google says about N/A wine ratings.  So searching the internet turned out to be easier than finding good N/A wines at your local supermarket, although, Fred Meyer had a 'fre' Merlot, 2010 (I guess you don't have to let grape juice age or breathe for that matter) and I got it to try.  It was like drinking the Merlot Grape version of Welches (no relationship, thank you) and not overly sweet, yet, well, hum, "Grapey."

No post would be complete without a mention of how supportive my friends and family have been in this year-long journey.  Kandy knows that drinking at home isn't a temptation for me, and she could easily open a bottle of red anytime she liked, but we both know that she wouldn't drink it all and the bottle would go bad after a few days.  Thus, our wine collection is aging well in the hall closet , insulated at around 60-65 degrees F.  "There are a few 2007 and 2008 reds that are going to taste quite nice on January 1st," I said to Kandy.

The other night, as we've been trying to do in these fine, SUMMERISH evenings, we attempted to drive to the top of Larch Mountain for a picnic dinner, just the three of us.  However, the gate to the top was still closed from winter and we settled for a roadside picnic at the Women's Forum overlook near Crown Point in the Gorge.  It was a good affair and now I know about N/A wines that we can chill for the occasion as needed.

How does drinking N/A beverages make me feel?  Well, the other day, my fish lady at Fred Meyer said, "isn't that kind of cheating?"  I professed that the drink had less than 1% of 1% of alcohol in it and that I felt it was okay to drink.  Then it made me think of why people drink and how many of them would stop drinking if alcohol was removed from their beverages.  I'm sure the real addicts of alcohol would either enter recovery or simply find another vice to focus as their addiction source.  I know when I stopped drinking last year, I started playing video games more often to pass the time, to vegg-out, and escape.

The brain is a complicated organ, yet it simply works with chemicals and electricity to function.  The nature of humanness is to be happy, and some of us need certain stimulants to get by.  I don't think I needed Alcohol to function at any point in my life, but it sure seemed like I might have a problem at times.  For sure, when things got stressful for me, the last thing I thought about was drinking.  To me, drinking was  social, fun activity to be shared with happy people, not a way to drown out my problems and to feel better.  My journey in this forest for one year is about discovering the real me, outside of the influence of alcohol.  I owe it to myself to experience this time to reveal an inner character I had always hoped would emerge from the micro-brew lover, full-bodied red connoisseur that resided in my 205 lb full scale body suit that surrounds my spirit, or the essence of the real me.  And so far, I'm liking what I see.

Until next time, cheers (N/A that is).

Don

Looking Back - Why am I here?

With the close of May and Summer's approach, I'm pausing to think about things, and I'm asking myself questions.  "Why am I here, what am I doing, and what would cause me to take on an endeavor such as this one."  Equally important, why would I even think of writing about this, sharing it with the world?"

Well, first about the reason for sharing--that's basically my nature.  I love to talk, write, interact with others.  But I really considered documenting this in a blog as a way to be held accountable.  The temptation of alcohol has never been a problem.  But, I have thought of how easy it would be to give up this year quest if I didn't know someone (you) were reading and following my journey.  Even with this in mind, I still question other motives for all of this.

As I've mentioned before, I have thought of giving up alcohol many times in the past to see how I feel.  Sometimes feeling low, sometimes having no energy, feeling aches and pains in the morning, and generally affecting my health, I felt alcohol could have been a causal factor in many of my conditions that caused concern in the first place.  I know it impacted my health, but I now realize that the low energy and ho-hum feelings were in part due to alcohol, brain chemistry and general conditioning of my emotions.  Being a creature of habit, I trained myself to be depressed, and alcohol has this ability to make you feel temporarily happy, but then the side effects drop you from the splendid feelings you experienced for a moment or two.  What you are left with is a desire to drink to feel good, only to be left deeper and deeper in a pit.  But for five full months now, I've been able to clearly think about these issues without being left in the pit.

Sure, I've felt ho-hum and low at times in the past year, but I've not found myself in the pit.  Without alcohol, I can handle the depression and move through it to a positive result, instead of recycling it over and over again.  On another note, I guess I'd have to admit that I became someone I wasn't comfortable being.  And I wanted my family and friends to see a different person that wasn't affected by the "Pit Effect" but habits are hard to break.  I still have conditioned ways of dealing with stress and my demeanor still is my nature.  But I don't think I'm a bad person, just inconsiderate sometimes.

I think mostly about my wife, Kandy.  Although I'm sure Makenna and Danielle, my daughters were affected by my reactions to stress in the 3 and 23 years that I've known them, but Kandy seems to be in the middle of the intense receiving of the "Don Pit Effect" most of the time.  And many times in the past seven years, she has wanted to leave because of the stress.  Still she stays, only to ride the roller coaster of feelings that many couples experience when one or both have difficulty expressing their challenges with, well, just life.

Now, for those of you without problems, without relationship issues, or substance abuse problems, I'm sorry to expose this to you.  When your life is perfect, and everything is peachy like on the set of television's Friends you don't know about these problems and are usually put-off by such exposure to situations like this.  But I realize that perfect people (or families, or relationships) are few and far between.

In my personal case, I almost didn't marry Kandy.  I felt at age 32 (me) and age 21 (her) that I already had too much baggage to subject her to, and she being so young, going from mom's house to our house, that she had her whole life ahead of her.  Four times I considered dropping out of the marriage, and probably as many times after the wedding, I too wanted to push Kandy away, especially during my stressful situations in my job in the military.  I guess I was lucky that Kandy was in love with me at times when I wasn't very loving to her.  Now the tables are turned, and Kandy is now questioning her love for me.

This is something that has been reoccurring every couple of years for the past seven years or so.  It's important to note that we've been married 15 years in June.  That's a long time for most marriages to even survive.  Maybe most couples take for granted the first few anniversaries and I think we were no exception.  It's evident in the fact that I've kept almost all the anniversary greetings from Kandy over the past few years, during the seven-year time of challenge.  These messages are probably more important to me because I know that Kandy cared about us during times of struggle, not just the good times too.

At 10 years, Kandy wrote this in a blank-inside card:

                                                                   2006
                                                                   10 Years!

     "For all the past adventures, support in my career and learning to understand my moods and "issues"...
Thank you!"
There's many more adventures to be had & I'm sure, more learning"

Happy Anniversary
               Love,
                   Kandy

Even as our 15th anniversary passes in a little less than a month, the outlook for success never is assured.  And even with seven years of challenges and struggle, we still have time at the 14-year mark to recognize the "Great Memories" and to say "Thanks for Everything."  (Kandy's words last year in June)

I guess when I considered not marrying Kandy in 1996, I was afraid of the challenges we'd face in the future.  Shortly after that, from 1997 to 1999, I pushed away, and she stayed there with me.  I didn't leave, and we grew to travel for adventures, have a gorgeous baby girl, and build a life many people observe as "fortunate." And I mostly feel fortunate.

I guess I'd have to say I'm fortunate to have Kandy, and Makenna, and Danielle in my life.  All three are people who almost didn't happen to me.  My relationship with Danielle's mother seriously affect my relationship with this first daughter.  And had I backed out of marriage to Kandy or separated from her before 2007, Makenna (or Kandy) wouldn't be the biggest things in my life.  The thought of losing any of this is something I consider to never have to experience.  It would be more than taking food or water away, but simply the air I need to breathe.

I love you Kandy,

Don

Happy Spring - Weather, Medical Reports, and Dreams!

Hi Everyone.  May is over half way through and the weather is just fabulous!  As this month comes to a close, I'm eager to share my experiences, lab results and dreams.

Many of you may remember my reports of new-found energy and motivation after suspending my alcohol consumption.  I can say that I've put that energy and motivation to riding my bike on long rides and yesterday was awesome.  I asked my wife to pick up Makenna after school for me and keep her for the afternoon so I could get a long bike ride in my schedule.  After taking care of some business in the morning, I rode my bicycle into Portland, met Kandy and Makenna for lunch and rode home in the afternoon...a total of 45+ miles.

Earlier in May, I rode a metric century (100 km = 62 miles), the Salem Bicycle Club's "Monster Cookie Ride" from downtown Salem to Champoeg State Park and back.  I went by myself, but met lots of new friends, including some gentlemen my age and one that has given up alcohol for the past 15 years.  The weather that May lst was the best of any of the Monster Cookie rides in recent years, and it was a fabulous day as well.  And I've got a few more century rides (real 100-milers) in my schedule for this year.


One of the major reasons for this journey through the land of sobriety was my health.  Not only fitness, but actual wellness within, both mind and body.  My physical last fall was crucial in my decision to make changes in my life.  Triglyceride levels were the main area of concern during my examination and at that time, I was at 193 (130-150 are consider safe levels in most adults).  In fact, 201 or higher is the "Alarm" level and seriously affects one's health.  I was only 8 points below the alarm level.

Well, now I am happy to share that my recent results from earlier this month are "117" and I credit that to limiting alcohol and going back to the gym...along with the occasional 62-mile bike ride.  Along with this improved health condition, I've also lost eight pounds and I'm sure some of that was regaining muscle.

Exactly 10 years ago, I deployed to Saudi Arabia in support of Operation Southern Watch.  In the desert, your body doesn't need as many calories to maintain metabolic body heat function.  After about a week of eating like I did in the US, my stomach started to feel sick after eating, and I think it was my body telling me that it didn't need these extra calories.  After adjusting my caloric intake down to about 1800 per day, and switching to more fruits and vegetables, I slowly dropped weight from about 215 down to 190 and back up to 192.5 over a three-month period.  That too was a period where I abstained from drinking alcohol, and my body responded positively.

And finally, a word about dreams.  In an earlier report, I remarked upon the difference in my dream states, experiencing more vivid and satisfying dreams.  Last week, I had another cheat dream where I was at a convention in a hotel and a server was walking around with a tray full of white-wine glasses.  I instinctively picked up one and took a drink, and in my dream, I realized that I was wanting not to drink and I put the glass back down on the tray.  I remembered the dream when I woke in the morning, and was relieved that I didn't really drink.

So what does all this mean?  I really don't know.  Could it be that I can drink and control my consumption.  I have noticed that dreams where I was going to go somewhere or go flying in my airplane were the subject, but some blockage was in the dream that kept me from getting to the good part meant that something in my life was limiting me in some way.  The topic of dreams now intrigues me and I look forward to researching dreams in general in many different ways.  Until then, I will continue to live in the "waking" world and will report back soon!

Don

April 30, 2011 - Four Months After the Start.

Happy Spring everyone!

At one-third the way through my year-long journey, I feel I've reached the point where the real self-discovery is finally coming to light.  Maybe it could be the affects of no alcohol in four months, or perhaps it's the season of increased sunshine and warmer temperatures.  Or maybe it's nothing at all and I'm just experiencing a new day.

In any regard, I'd have to say that my friends and family have been fully supportive in my efforts to endure.  My wife has refrained from having a drink in the house which helps me not lament the memories of good food, a sunset and a bottle of 2005 Columbia Crest Grand Estates Cabernet Sauvignon and a slice of triple velvet chocolate cake.  I'd have to say that I became an astute connoisseur of good wines and could sometimes define the region the grapes came from without knowing the origin or having read the label on the bottle.

Along with the role of "Wine Snob" I'd also become a collector of alcohol related trinkets.  I might have already mentioned my bottle cap collection started in 1997 in Iceland (had I only started early, I could cover an entire wall with unique bottle caps).  Along with wine cork openers, Kandy and I've amassed an intricate collection of corks, pint glasses, logo coasters, and more.  At this point I'd like to point out that I do NOT have any bar mirrors or neon signs, having a high degree of class and dignity required of someone of my mediocrity.

I have fond memories of most of these beers represented in the photo above.  Often I'd rummage through the container of caps to discover I'd tried the same beer twice and kept both caps.  Had I started this collection when I first started drinking beer, I'd have more than 1,000 unique ones with many of them now out of business.  Wonder what that would be worth.

Some people collect baseball cards.  I tried that, but I'm just not that addicted to bubble gum.  For me--and maybe for many--it was the moment and the people I was with that made a difference and instilled a sense of appreciation for the beer I was drinking.  In fact, when friends weren't around, or if something was distressing to me, drinking was the farthest thing from my mind...as was the case on New Years Eve 1992 (NEW YEAR'S 1993) when I'd received a letter from my neighbor that my wife was having an affair.  I was at Kunsan Airbase, South Korea and my friends and I had already planned a night of drinking and celebration.  For what ever reason, I couldn't drink, not even one beer.  All stressful situations seem to cause this reaction.  Reflecting back, I can say that I've never considered "Man, this is a stressful situation, I think I need a drink" before, ever!

From the start of this self-evaluation, I've never considered myself an alcoholic although I'm open to the possibility that I might be.  Many of my alcoholic friends that have been sober for years, attend meetings and carry the coins--as well as follow the steps--tell me that if I was able to quit and not slip back into drinking, that it doesn't sound like I'm an alcoholic.  Still, I am planning to attend a meeting soon and experience the real essence of AA or Alcoholic's Anonymous.

Who knows what my future in drinking will be.  We'll see.  For now, I'm just trying to reflect, experience and reveal (for myself and my readers) the significance of alcohol's effects on me.  Until next time, please feel free to respond via this post or through an email and I hope you share your alcohol experience with us all.

Cheers,

April Showers Bring April Grand Daughters!

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't written in a while.  There's no excuse; I've just been lazy!

I have also been busy with getting the garden ready, deploying to Takistan some evenings to liberate their nation, or going to the gym.  Oh, and I became a "Grandpa" this month.  I was hoping to hold off until age 50, but 2 years early isn't so bad.

My Daughter Danielle and her Husband Ross have a beautiful baby daughter Rylee J. Caples and we drove down last weekend to meet her.  Holding a newborn weighting 6 pounds, 4 ounces seemed so surreal although it was only three years and a bit that I was holding my second daughter, Makenna, when she was that age.  It's a humbling feeling to realize that you are one of four generations in your family, and that you have children old enough to be parents themselves.  I am still experiencing new emotions and interpreting them as they come. 

Here are some photos to share.

 She's a content baby and I can't wait to teach her some "Knock-Knock" jokes when she turns 3.

This will be a short post, but in future posts, I'll tell more about my ARMA Combined Operations missions and show you photos of my alcohol related collections.

Stay safe and enjoy the sunshine!

Don