But the events of 9/11 may never teach us to avoid the situation that got our nation attacked, nor will it prevent such harm in the future. Perhaps the greatest impact of our memory of that day is to never forget those we lost, and just maybe, we should use it to appreciate those we still have with us. I mean the things many of us take for granted each day.
The morning of September 11th, 2001 wasn't a routine morning for me in any sense of the word Routine. Kandy and I awoken early as I was to fly commercial from Sacramento to Raleigh-Durham in order to pickup my then, 13-year-old daughter Danielle who was coming to live with us. I wouldn't see Danielle until a week later due to the situation unfolding in New York, DC, and Pennsylvania.
Everything seemed normal that sunny Sacramento Valley morning. The 40-minute drive to the airport was pleasant and Kandy dropped me at the departure curb, kissing me goodbye like she would see me again at the end of the day. I checked in, got a coffee, and preceded to my gate to quickly board my flight as everything was right on time. Kandy departed the airport and drove to work in Roseville, CA, just 25 minutes away.
Occupancy was sparse in my aircraft bound for Houston, then on to Raleigh-Durham, and my seat assignment took me all the way back to the rear of the plane. Sitting down in the isle seat as I said "hi" to the young college student next to the window two in my row. We chit chatted for a bit, just stuff about the weather, flying, I really don't remember. Due to take off at 6:05AM Pacific, our Captain came across the intercom to inform us that the FAA issued a Traffic Delay due to something going on in the east, "probably other delays" he announced. Josie, the girl in my row, and I continued to make small talk as we assumed that we'd spend the next three and a half hours together, we'd might as well enjoy each others' company. But then our captain would give us news that would set up the memory of events for me that day.
Meanwhile, as Kandy was driving on the highway, unaware of anything happening in New York or DC, my airplane Captain came across on the intercom again to say that there has been an accident in New York and that one of the World Trade Towers had be struck by an airplane. That's when Josie and I looked at each other and thought, this isn't going to be a normal day.
Josie was from Texas, a College Student in the Dallas area who was in California for her friend's wedding. Her friends had dropped her at the airport early that morning in order to begin driving for their honeymoon. Josie had no other contacts in the area and her parents didn't even know that she was away from school for the weekend wedding near San Francisco. Before I would learn all of this, our Captain would come across once more to say that the US was under attack and that we would need to take all of our stuff, pickup up our baggage and that our flight was cancelled.
During this time in our lives, Kandy and I only needed one cell phone. Kandy carried it and we mostly used it for traveling. I had it with me this day and I immediately called Kandy's office line to leave her a message that I was still at the airport and needed to be picked up. Kandy arrived at work a few moments later to find everyone there in the conference room watching the images on television that would be played and replayed all around the world. Someone at work asked, "where's Don?" "He's on a plane headed for North Carolina" Kandy replied. Then she would get my voicemail on her office line and she called me immediately on the cell line.
By this time, Josie and I were gathering with others in the terminal where every television in the airport was tuned to a newscast showing the airplanes hitting the twin towers. Neither tower had collapsed yet, and I could see that Josie was getting nervous about what was going on. Here was a 21 or 22 year-old-girl with no family in the immediate area, and our freedom and security was being eroded before our very eyes. I waited until she put down her cell phone and I asked if she was okay. She said that she couldn't reach anyone and I immediately offered to let her come to our house until we could get her home to Texas.
I phoned Delta Airlines to get an instant credit on my Visa card so that I could drive to North Carolina to pick-up my daughter. The circumstances around Danielle's decision to come live with us where extraordinary at minimum. About a month earlier, Danielle came to visit us in California and she never shared her mother's problems with us openly, although we detected something was wrong back east. The truth to the matter is that her Step-dad had already moved out, her mother was drunk all day, and Danielle was basically going to school sparsely while trying to be an adult and taking care of her mother and six-year-old sister. Her call to us on September 3rd, 2001 was her first reach out to us to get help...to basically get out of the situation she was in with her mother. Without hesitation, Kandy and I said yes.
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| A sunflower in our backyard at Beale AFB, CA. |
Flash backward almost 10 years earlier to 1992-1993 when I was on a one year remote-tour in South Korea and Danielle's mother (my then wife) was drinking, partying, and basically acting like Tonya Harding and Cacey Anthony all wrapped up in one person. Oh, add the wicked witch of the west from The Wizard of Oz and you'll get an excellent example of what she was like. My resolve back in 1993 was to save my marriage, keep the family together, and recover, but it eventually became a matter of trying to secure Danielle's safety as a then 5-year-old daughter. But that story is an entire book of it's own.
Back to September 11th: Kandy would arrive to take Josie and I home, I was immediately recalled to alert status as I was approaching my 20th year in the US Air Force. Josie's boyfriend was an Army Reserve soldier stationed at Fort Lewis and she was worried about him. She watched every DVD we owned at the time, as well as CNN and other news casts. It would be Friday, maybe Saturday before we could get her out on a flight to Texas. We kept in touch with Josie for a few years, and then through moves and email changes, we lost contact. We will never forget her and I'm sure she remembers us to this day.
To wrap things up, I made it out to North Carolina, picked up Danielle in Charleston, SC and with a big help from my Dad and Step-mom, Danielle made it safely to our home in California. Her mother on the other hand, was arrested for disorderly conduct and pepper-sprayed while we were attempting to gather Danielle's belongings. Danielle was a lucky military dependent child (Military Brat). She was able to start 8th grade, and finish four years of High School at the same place with all her friends she'd make in the coming months after her move to California. This is seldom seen in children of military members as we move around quite a bit.
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| June 7, 2006 - The Day Danielle Graduated from High School |
I on the other hand, had applied to retire, had my papers suspended due to the wars to follow 9/11, and was able to reapply after "Stop-Loss" was canceled in 2002. I retired (honorably of course) on December 1st, 2002 after 20+ years of active duty service. Kandy and Danielle were present, and through the customary practice of military retirement, the spouse receives a Certificate of Appreciate for his or her sacrifice over the years of service. This occasion was extra special because Danielle received yellow roses, a symbol of hope and waiting for someone to return from war. Kind of like the yellow ribbon around the tree. I fought many battles during my military career, some of them I lost. I thought one was my custody battle for Danielle in 1993. We eventually won that one in 2001 when Danielle realized that her life would be better if she came to live with Kandy and I. Today, she is married, owns a home in Redding, CA and has my first Granddaughter, Rylee to keep her busy. She is an account representative for SYSCO Foods and is someone I've very proud to call "My Daughter!"
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| September 19th, 2002, the day of my retirement ceremony. |
For me, September 11th will always be a day for remembrance, more so than December 7th, or even my own birthday. It's a good thing I had younger people back then that needed me. And it's a good thing I was a service member back then too. Having a mission, I was able to be brave, not fear the future, and I had others that depended on me. Much has changed in the past 10 years. I play more of a support role now. Kandy and Danielle are the warriors with missions to lead. For me, Makenna is my new mission, an endeavor equally as important as the military, or any job or career. I'm very happy for the people in my life.
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| Makenna - My Fairy Princess! |
So what's September 11th mean for you? Is it just a day of remembering where you were that day? Or do you only remember the images on the news and the events to follow that auspicious date, 9/11? For me, September 11th trumps most major events between now and then, as well as those to come. The person who just cut me off in traffic is not important enough for me to feel anguish or despair over. The fact that the store doesn't have the item in stock that I had hoped to buy isn't a big deal either. It doesn't matter what car I drive, or what my title is, or who is listening to me or what ever. None of that is important enough to override my family and the other special people in my life. For me, September 11th is a day to reset my priorities, still remember those we lost, and mainly remember those we love.
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| Kandy & Makenna |
Next time you notice the date, and it says September 11, 2012 and beyond, find a special place to sit still and think of what's most important to you. Love, Peace and Happiness be with you all.
Don
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| Mountains All Around - North Cascades Highway |
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